Y'all writing isn't something I expected to love, but yet the little tenderness in my heart towards righting grew to love which grew to filled journals of everyday thoughts.
And yes, I do know how inconsistent I am with this little blog.
I honestly don't know why I am though. But I like giving major thought to this and my everyday life isn't really major. So maybe that's it.
Moving on.
There's no plan.
Just my brain & how the words flow.
Here goes.
So I'm going to be really brave and talk about my friends right now. Y'all have no idea how much of my heart is given to my real and true friends. (talking to you best friend) Over the past six months, we hit some gravel in the pavement and it wasn't so enjoyable. I, for the first time, felt my heart breaking for another person. I had to stand by and watch a path of self destruction and deceit be paved. I HAD TO FREAKING STAND BY AND WATCH. That was really painful to me but not nearly as painful for me as it was to watch the whole castle come crumbling down.
|| side note. I feel obliged to tell my 3 or so readers the truth about what happened lol so yeah ||
You see, about two years ago, my beautiful, giggly, gentle, striking best friend met a dude. (dude was a family friend of mine at the time) But an interesting thing about this is that it was mostly an online/texting friendship and they didn't really hang out. Long story short, he ended up lying to her but telling me he was lying to her and i couldn't deal with that crap so I called my girl up and told her what was going on and I got to sort through the aftermath of that.
Also, dude had liked me for like a year before that but ended up making me really not like him.
So, fastforward a year and they reconnect so to speak. So I'm like ok cool maybe things have changed and he's grown up a bit.
(lol spoiler alert, thats not the case)
SO basically they become really good friends really fast and we are all hanging out and things seem great up until this past January (2016) and he and I finally become friends. So dude and I being friends puts a strain on the relationship between me and best friend which really stunk so I tried, you know, chilling and backing off a bit. But then dude started to take my place. And neither of them would probably say that which is totally fine but that is how I felt. I have to say, watching things fall apart right in front of your eyes is something I wouldn't wish on anybody. So with all of that, I was left holding on to a pinky while he was lacing fingers with her whole hand.
The day I realized that was a really rough day.
Then talk came up that they might date each other and what not and that they just had to get permission from her parents to do so and yadda yadda yadda. Well, this ended up becoming a major headline in my life. I was becoming a vault of secrets, coming in from both parties, and I didn't even realize the toll it was taking on me.
Finally something major happened and the secrets were spilled and the lies were brought to light and everything changed. Her relationship with the dude ended very abruptly and her and my friendship began to heal and come back together. There were a few phone calls filled with the sound of muffled tears and there was a lot of hugging and forgiveness and love and friendship.
Being best friends is about being there even when they're a pain in the butt sometimes.
We still talk about this to this day. I'm still mad at the dude. He spoke badly about me to my friends and I don't really know how to get past it. And this is also a bad place to be in. I wanted an apology from him for a while but I don't really care about the apology now so much as I do for him doing some good soul search. Y'all really don't know how deep this issue was.
I haven't spoken to him in about a month and I have to say I am really enjoying having my best friend back, and just my best friend.
So a lot of this may seem a bit harsh or judgmental and whatever. That's fine with me. There are actually two other blogs out right now with posts about this situation. (best friend and dude both have blogs lol) I just felt that as the girl on the outside with bit's and pieces from the inside, it was time to let this out.
So if you are a random person who found this post or you are a friend who subscribed, this is real and this is life, and it gets messy but lol thats cool.
*I have 2 other post planned that are going to be reallllll gooood so be sure to check back soon or subscribe*
And yes, I do know how inconsistent I am with this little blog.
I honestly don't know why I am though. But I like giving major thought to this and my everyday life isn't really major. So maybe that's it.
Moving on.
There's no plan.
Just my brain & how the words flow.
Here goes.
So I'm going to be really brave and talk about my friends right now. Y'all have no idea how much of my heart is given to my real and true friends. (talking to you best friend) Over the past six months, we hit some gravel in the pavement and it wasn't so enjoyable. I, for the first time, felt my heart breaking for another person. I had to stand by and watch a path of self destruction and deceit be paved. I HAD TO FREAKING STAND BY AND WATCH. That was really painful to me but not nearly as painful for me as it was to watch the whole castle come crumbling down.
|| side note. I feel obliged to tell my 3 or so readers the truth about what happened lol so yeah ||
You see, about two years ago, my beautiful, giggly, gentle, striking best friend met a dude. (dude was a family friend of mine at the time) But an interesting thing about this is that it was mostly an online/texting friendship and they didn't really hang out. Long story short, he ended up lying to her but telling me he was lying to her and i couldn't deal with that crap so I called my girl up and told her what was going on and I got to sort through the aftermath of that.
Also, dude had liked me for like a year before that but ended up making me really not like him.
So, fastforward a year and they reconnect so to speak. So I'm like ok cool maybe things have changed and he's grown up a bit.
(lol spoiler alert, thats not the case)
SO basically they become really good friends really fast and we are all hanging out and things seem great up until this past January (2016) and he and I finally become friends. So dude and I being friends puts a strain on the relationship between me and best friend which really stunk so I tried, you know, chilling and backing off a bit. But then dude started to take my place. And neither of them would probably say that which is totally fine but that is how I felt. I have to say, watching things fall apart right in front of your eyes is something I wouldn't wish on anybody. So with all of that, I was left holding on to a pinky while he was lacing fingers with her whole hand.
The day I realized that was a really rough day.
Then talk came up that they might date each other and what not and that they just had to get permission from her parents to do so and yadda yadda yadda. Well, this ended up becoming a major headline in my life. I was becoming a vault of secrets, coming in from both parties, and I didn't even realize the toll it was taking on me.
Finally something major happened and the secrets were spilled and the lies were brought to light and everything changed. Her relationship with the dude ended very abruptly and her and my friendship began to heal and come back together. There were a few phone calls filled with the sound of muffled tears and there was a lot of hugging and forgiveness and love and friendship.
Being best friends is about being there even when they're a pain in the butt sometimes.
We still talk about this to this day. I'm still mad at the dude. He spoke badly about me to my friends and I don't really know how to get past it. And this is also a bad place to be in. I wanted an apology from him for a while but I don't really care about the apology now so much as I do for him doing some good soul search. Y'all really don't know how deep this issue was.
I haven't spoken to him in about a month and I have to say I am really enjoying having my best friend back, and just my best friend.
So a lot of this may seem a bit harsh or judgmental and whatever. That's fine with me. There are actually two other blogs out right now with posts about this situation. (best friend and dude both have blogs lol) I just felt that as the girl on the outside with bit's and pieces from the inside, it was time to let this out.
So if you are a random person who found this post or you are a friend who subscribed, this is real and this is life, and it gets messy but lol thats cool.
*I have 2 other post planned that are going to be reallllll gooood so be sure to check back soon or subscribe*
